***BEST OF SHOW CREATIVE WRITING
1st Place Short Short Story
My Pie
By
Hugh E. Priddy
After breakfast, my wife told me that she was going to the store and would be gone 45 minutes and no more. My wife has been trying to get me to cut down on my sweets and when she said she was leaving, all I could think about was the pie and ice cream we have, she has me on a diet and only lets me have a little bit.
When she left, I looked at the clock and gave her five minutes, before I started. I lowered the shades and locked the doors. The house was now dark inside and she had been gone about 8 minutes. I could see out through the shades, but no one could see in. I blasted the T.V. – that way I didn’t have to hear the doorbell. Now is the time to do it.
All my neighbors know that I cannot see all that good. I have lost about 90% vision in both eyes. I also have hearing aids. They all kind of look out for me. The car was gone, so the neighbors knew my wife was gone. If they knew I stayed home, they would keep an eye on things. I did not want anyone to see what I was doing because they would call her on the cell phone and let her know.
With the house dark and the TV loud, I walked in the kitchen to pick up a big bowl. I piled it up high with pie and ice cream. I was sitting at the kitchen table looking at the bowl. I took my first big bite when that damn doorbell rings. O hell, I can hear it. It had to be that nosy neighbor next door. I ignored it and kept eating. When I looked up she was coming around the house. I picked up my bowl and headed to the bedroom before she could get to the sliding glass door off the dining room.
In my bedroom I sat down at the computer desk to finish eating my pie and ice cream. I took my second big bite, eating it very slow, for I had plenty of time.
My neighbor could hear the T.V. from outside. She was thinking something bad had happened. She rang the doorbell again and checked the front door with no luck. If she looked very hard, she could see inside and could see our kitchen table.
Now thinking I was hurt with the TV turned up and needing help, she ran back home and called 911. I was sitting there enjoying my pie and ice cream thinking, this is sooo good. I am going at it very slow for I was going to enjoy every bite.
With the TV turned up and my hearing aids out, I could not hear anything. The police came, then an ambulance and a fire truck. I could hear the siren and was thinking something had happened outside. I would go look after I finished my pie and ice cream.
The police tried the doorbell, checked the doors, and could not get in. They broke a picture window in front to get in. I did not hear anything.
About that time my wife was coming around the corner and saw all the flashing lights in front of our house. She was thinking, what is going on?, and thought it had to be bad.
She pulls into our neighbor’s driveway three houses down. She jumps out very fast, forgetting to put it in park or set the brakes. The driveway is on a little incline. She ran up to get to our house when the cop stopped her. He told her that cops were in the house, and no one could go in until it was safe. He would not let her go past him. My wife is now very upset and short of crying, thinking something had happened to me.
About that time someone called her name. Looking around she could see the car moving backwards. She ran back, parked it, and set the brakes. The cop was distracted when she returned, and she made it past him.
With my hearing aids out, I did not hear any of the commotion. By this time, my mouth was full with the last oversized bite of pie and ice cream. I suddenly heard an unfamiliar noise and turned around. I came close to choking on my pie and ice cream as the next thing I remember was a cop pointing his gun and yelling at me.
The cop’s hand was shaking so bad, he must have been a rookie. I was thinking that the gun could go off anytime. The cop was talking very fast, asking me who I was. I could not tell him anything with my mouth so full. He kept asking who I was with his hands trembling. I was finally able to get most of the pie down but before I could say anything, my wife came rushing in to see what was going on. She let off a loud scream. The cop was so scared that he jumped, turned around fast, and accidently pulled the trigger shooting a hole in the floor. Now that a shot rang out, in comes more cops with guns out. My wife saw all of this and fainted. She was down on the floor, out cold. The ambulance crew arrives. By this time, I came close to messing in my pants at what was happening.
While sitting at the desk with my mouth open and my hands as high as I could get them, facing everyone in the room, I was thinking, what the hell is going on? The ambulance crew were taking care of my wife on the floor, and all I could say was, “Damn that was a good pie and ice cream!”