1st Place Short Script
Scene 7 “A Convict’s Carol”
(The light in the cell comes back on illuminating Shrimpy the ghost sitting on a lawn chair next to Benjamin CREWS who is still knocked out on the cell floor. SHRIMPY is wearing a t-shirt with a jumbo shrimp on it, Bermuda shorts and a baseball cap with the 7-up logo on it. Around his lawn chair are the wrappings and tray from Crews’ last meal).
SHRIMPY (Talking to the unconscious body of Crews): Damn, them were some good victuals. I don’t think I’d have ordered anything different, if it were my last meal, no sir, this was the bee’s knees. Course, it might have been a might better if they’d put out a bit a Tabasco for the shrimp, I do like tangy. I’m afraid we don’t get a lot of condiments on the other side. Every now and again some poor dumb bastard passes on with the random ketchup packet in his back pocket, maybe even a smear of hot mustard on the cheek, but you can forget having any proper flavor, but my isn’t that the whole truth. Beggars cannot be choosers, and so on. Anyway, got to thank you again for the tasty treat, got to say, amen brother! And it has got to be a hundred to one that you like the un-cola. Time was I couldn’t get enough of it myself. It sure does wash a good meal down though, sure it does… (Gets off the lawn chair and walks over to the sink and grabs the toothbrush and begins brushing his teeth, talking as he brushes). Yep, thing about the soda pop’s though, they can rot your damn teeth. Of course, I do the routine checkups, but the best defense against tooth decay is frequent brushing. I have to say, rather I hate to bitch, but the dental program on the other side, and well let me just say it isn’t the best, bastard of a co-pay and not a dime toward cosmetic. Good thing I died when I did, full grill, dynamite smile, a lady-killer, if you don’t mind the pun. (Walks over to Crews, still on the cell floor). Hey…Benny. (Nudges him with his foot). Benny, are you alive? Come on man, times a wasting, and believe you me, you don’t have much to pine. Hey Benny! (Gives Crews a solid kick).
CREWS (Stirs from his slumber): Huh?
SHRIMPY: Morning sunshine. Sorry I got to put the old kybosh on the forty winks and all, but we have got to get to. I used to hear, early to bed, early to rise, makes a body wealthy and wise, course that really doesn’t apply to you, but it’s a fine saying nonetheless, you agree Benny?
CREWS (Sits up): Let me guess, you’re the ghost of Christmas present?
SHRIMPY (Laughs heartily): Why sure I am Benny. But aren’t you the clever one, presents for the present and all (Slaps his knee with another solid laugh). Christmas is a long ways off my good man, too long for you I’d wager, fact is if it were tomorrow you’d be plum pudding out of luck. You’re a bit of the coal in the stocking kind I think at any rate. You do however, have half of it right on, I’m a ghost, a specter, a spook; whatever pleases you in the saying. Not man no more, undying now, forever caught in the between place, right where the ethereal rock hits the hard spot. But what and who I am is not of the big picture at this moment, no sir. What is my good man is that you need to get right before it all just turns to shite.
CREWS: Are you for real? You look like a Goddamned cartoon, and you talk like a stand-up comic, and is that my toothbrush in your mouth? For Christ’s sake one of my hallucinations has my toothbrush in its mouth…
SHRIMPY: Oh, well pardon me Benny, I sort of forgot myself if you fancy my meaning (Sets down the toothbrush with an exaggerated flurry) Ta Da…Now all is again right in the cellular world of one Benjamin Crews, lately found on death row, soon to be more death than row I think (Laughs).
CREWS: My God, you are just itching to get on my last nerve. Why don’t you just show me what you got to show me and let me be? You damn ghosts are eating up my clock, I don’t want to spend my last day listening to your crap…
SHRIMPY: Last day? Sonny boy, you’re down to the last few hours (Pulls out a pocket watch and looks at it and then runs around in a circle) I’m late, I’m late…for a very important date (Laughs)…you get it? I’m the White Rabbit.