3rd Place Personal Essay
“I’M BORED!” “EXCUSE ME, WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN?”
By Barbara Robinson
“I’M BORED!” Good news is worth repeating. Being bored is a good thing. I didn’t know if I agreed with that. But as I read more and pondered even more about this ‘good news’ thing I began thinking creatively until I suddenly imagined Eliza Doolittle’s benefactor saying, “By George, I think she’s got it!” (That’s from My Fair Lady, if you didn’t get it).
I wonder if we will ever be satisfied. Children become bored if activity isn’t non-stop, and adults look forward to the day that they can retire from life-long non-stop activity. Then there are those in long-term care facilities and, suddenly, “I’m bored” begins resounding like an echo out of the past.
Long-term Care Veterans Homes are different. A camaraderie exists here that can only be understood and felt among veterans. A first meeting is always, “Which Branch?” followed by, “Which War?” I am an Air Force Veteran of the Korean War era and have lived at the Retsil Washington State Veterans Home for six years. Even with a variety filled monthly Activities Calendar and a staff, second to none, I hear the words “I’m bored” expressed in a way reminiscent of childhood. Of course, it’s different in that they can’t give us a big empty box to turn into a play house or garage. None of us could get down on or up from the floor, and even if we could the nurses would misinterpret the fun we were having.
The real meaning (it’s thought) stems from an ‘awl bore’ which was the long tedious action to drill holes by hand during the 17th and 18th century (not inaction). By the 19th century young women were among the first to coin the phrase “He’s a bore” whenever a man would continually talk and brag (not solitude). Even with our present day terminology it still remains a good thing in the annals of medical professionals because it results in creativity (there are medical exceptions). But let’s face it, we are addicted to being entertained and influenced by the constant hype of the ‘now generation’ with its noise and insistence of gratification entitlements, which in turn alter our attitudes. So my fellow veterans, since I have remained energetic and young at heart, I began doing something in early 2022 that is truly entertaining and has totally (and I do mean totally) changed my perception of everything that I experience here. We all remember the TV sitcom ‘Mash,’ a Korean War medical unit. I think of my life here as 70 years after Korea and consider each day as living in a sitcom series which I call ‘Retsil.’ It was a funny name 100 years ago when the chosen name of Governor Lister couldn’t be used, so Lister was spelled backwards. A log in our clinic is kept up-to-date with the misspellings of it on correspondence. A favorite is The Rectal Veterans Home.
Food Service is the stuff legends are made of. I am a vegetarian and it’s a foreign word to those whose English isn’t their first language. When our southern dietician put baked potato with fixins on my special menu, instead of naming them as on the regular menu, I got a plain potato. They thought fixins was a name brand and couldn’t find it. Then there was the contest between a couple of guys to see who could wrap the half sandwiches for the evening snack cart so no one could figure out how to unwrap them. The nurses put a stop to that. I rather miss the challenge. Here’s one more for the road. Our Resident Food Committee decides every holiday meal. Christmas 2021 was exceptionally special because after two years of Covid-19 the Kitchen staff could be with their families. Certified ‘strangers’ took their place. My anticipated holiday meal arrived and what to my wondering eyes did appear but thinly sliced potatoes which had been boiled, after the fact, and topped with flour thickened water and no seasoning. On the side was a generous sized soup bowl filled to the brim with peas and a small slice of pumpkin pie on a plate. I laughed because: 1. I was imagining this ridiculous confusion over a vegetarian menu. 2. I had a tote bag filled with the ‘good stuff’ candy, cupcakes, and homemade cookies that had been lavished on each veteran by organizations, family and friends. I sent a report, in story format, to the dieticians that ended with “You Girls Owe Me!” The mystery of how the ‘strangers’ could have arrived at those conclusions has never been solved.
My current 46 sitcom inspirations for ‘Retsil’ have tumbled together funny, hilarious, happy, sad, poignant, Inspiring, compassion and dedication. All we need are professionals to finish the course. Filming it here would end boredom. Oh, and end staff shortage if offered cameo roles. I can see it all now.
BY THE WAY GIRLS, “YOU STILL OWE ME!”
The end