Symbolic of childhood, I hold the first toy I was given at birth. Schiele and Modersohn-Becker inspired macabre red and blue tones make the subject appear bruised, sinister, yet gentle as the toy is held with care. The sitter is confronted with the conflict between suffering and pride: perseverance above all has brought the subject to the present. The gray and purple background encompass the tortured psyche of the subject and are contrasted with the yellow chair and toy: glimpses of joy.