I have long been attracted to koi and I thought I knew them, but something extraordinary happened to me when I discovered a raised koi pond with a window on the side. Suddenly I could see the koi from underneath and from the side, in all their spectacular beauty and individuality. This opened up the possibility of making a huge painting where the viewer could immerse himself in the pond with the fish. As I painted these fish, I found that I was painting myself. I was neither the flashy fish nor the most colorful or perfect fish; I was the hidden fish, the one you had to look a little harder to see. Which of the koi is you?