Since the pandemic started, my bed has no longer been my comfort zone. I felt like I was stuck in and confined to my bed. Since being cut off from the world, my bed became my world, and I struggled and withered every single day in that space. I was often seized with fear that I would die in my room without anyone knowing. In other words, I became very weak mentally and physically. The fear I felt every time I heard Asian hate crimes from the news and social media, and the alarm that I would get infected with the virus came as great stress. The disconnection, loneliness, lethargy, and fear I felt made my panic disorder symptoms become worse. Due to this extreme lethargy and depression, I was no longer able to think creatively and was not productive. In other words, as a person who had no motivation or energy, I thought I was an empty person myself. My empty body as a human being became nothing more than meat. I was just a piece of meat. I wanted to portray these feelings in my self-portrait through my intentional pose and colour choice. My mental and physical weakness and my struggles with these are shown simultaneously through my semi-dynamic pose as well as my uncovered body. My ribs and skin lack elasticity, making me look more like a piece of meat. My eyes stare towards the front silently screaming for help.
